I’m feeling decidedly not well today. I’ve had a pretty rough week to be honest, my emotions have been all over the place and I’ve just kind of felt like I’m not dealing very well with life. And today it’s taken a bit of a physical toll.
Lots of people have been talking about how January is a month of “fresh starts” and they’re still feeling positive and “new” about the new year – new diets, new exercise regimens, new routines, new intentions. I just feel useless, a failure, depressed. I hate how much pressure there is in January to “start over” – make resolutions, tidy your life up, SORT YOURSELF OUT FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE.
On Tuesday night, a friend and I were talking about the things we really need in life – when you have a lot going on and everything feels like a struggle (like now), what would be the one thing you ask for? Would it be financial relief? A two week holiday? A clean house? A new job? More friends? All of those things would be lovely, but having thought about it, all I really need are fresh visions of Jesus every day. The Light shining in the darkness, the One to whom darkness bows. Fresh visions of this Man of Love who has done everything for me, who gives Himself to me. Nothing else really matters.